The song Copacabana (At the Copa) by Barry Manilow (yes I know shut up!) do they say
at the Copacabana, have a banana……?
July 22, 2008
July 8, 2008
Keeping it Real
A wise man once said that there is a person out there for everyone. I think this person was an idiot!
July 6, 2008
Only in America
1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
July 5, 2008
10 WAYS TO GET FIRED
1. Whenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say “He’s under his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?”
2. Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the office, regardless of the temperature
3. When your boss is on the phone scream “Dammit! I’m expecting a call!! Stay off the phone!!”
4. If your boss bumps into you, start screaming sexual harassment. Talk in great lengths about the state laws on harassment. Get the authorites involved.
Threaten to sue.
5. Sleep with your boss’s daughter. Videotape it. Pass out copies around the office. Brag about how easy she was.
6. Steal various office equipment (pencils, staplers, desks). Frame your boss for it.
7. When asked to do something start laughing hysterically. Continue this for five minutes. Calm down and say, “Oh, you were being serious?”
8. Loosen the bolts on the boss’s chair. Laugh loudly when he/she falls down. Play innocent.
9. Whenever the boss starts to tell you a story, interrupt him/her with a story of your own. Make sure the story is boring and has no point whatsoever.
10. Send a dozen roses to your boss’s house when their spouse is home. Sign an ex-flames name on the card. Next day, ask him/her how their evening was. Be obvious.
Long time reader, fisrt time poster.
Hello, out there? Great now I can’t think of something to say.
10 Reasons Why You Need A Raise
10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in
hysterical laughter.
9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.
8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift
stores.
7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.
6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for
your Easter ham.
5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery
coupons.
4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, “Charity
Case — Return To Sender.”
3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young
America, Minnesota.
2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and
it goes into shock.
1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.
10 Questions Not To Ask During A Job Interview
10 Questions Not To Ask During A Job Interview
Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed For A Job :
1. What’s your company’s policy on severance pay?
2. How long does it take your company’s bureaucracy to get
around to firing somebody for poor performance?
3. Could I get an office that’s really close to the exit?
4. Does your company’s life insurance cover suicide?
5. Who’s the ugly bitch in that picture on your desk?
6. Does your company’s insurance consider genital herpes a
pre-existing condition?
7. How many sick days do you allow each employee before you
stop paying them for not being here?
8. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
9. Does your LAN have a firewall that blocks triple-X websites?
10. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?
June 16, 2008
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